A day after off in the office doesn't seem to refresh my haggard looks. Nothing seems to be falling in line. Was so annoyed with myself that I ended up spending Rs 1700 on shopping. All done to hide the personality disorder that is Prasanna. How clever human beings are that they cover up their ugliness by wearing expensive clothes. Things fall apart, centre can not hold. Indeed, the falcon cannnot hear the falconer. O my repeated atempts to reconcile myself to destiny backfires on me. I have turned a rebel, challenging destiny. As flies are to wanton boys, we r to Gods, they kill us for their sport. But is it so easy to withdraw from the battlefield? My questioning spirit seems to be soaring high,,,,,i have entered a phase when i have started questioning the 'designs' of destiny. Oh! does it exist at all? I get too perplexed and bewildered when i take a stroll down the memory lane. But then I live with hope of life embracing me once again.
Yestaerday went to Ambarish's place where I met his father, a religious man and an astrologer who can be trusted upon. He told me that I m soon going to quit this profession and I would marry a girl of my own choice. He was talking about fate, life after death and many more metaphysical aspects. I got engrossed in his words. He is so awe-inspiring. I drew strenght from his words. I again started believing in destiny but this belief was ephemeral as I failed to establish a lost contact in the evening,,,,,perhaps I was rebuked. I m also misunderstood. So, my rebellious nature is no surprise.
Will resume tomorrow with a hope that I will write something constructive.